Climate Change Conference – Obama fists developing nations till their noses bleed.

You find that stupid people, the ones without more than a basic cognitive ability, always have plenty non-sensical bullshit to say. And like brown windowed envelopes, tend to multiply when you need them least.

Barack Obama showed his true colours at the closing of the Climate Change conference. I personally have at best sat on the fence regarding his quality as a President of the USA and human being. So Barack walked in wearing his finest Jacob the Jeweller designed rings, bent the third world over the table and said sexily in our collective ear:

“I ain’t stop till I hit the back of your teeth.”

And before India and China point fingers, you douche canoes need to check your statements before you jump on the developing nations bandwagon. Because those two countries with gold medals in irresponsible breeding were the most reluctant to sign a legally binding agreement. And we are so fucked, because we all save electricity, ride our bicycles to work and recycle, recycle, recycle, but its the big polluters that need to get their act together. Cut all the bullshit about loss of jobs and all that hoodoo bullshit. Because lets be honest, there’ll be plenty jobs when we’re dying from starvation in the next 10 to 20 years.

Once again, we as humans have over estimated our importance and value to life on Earth. And now it seems nature in all her fabulous glory is finally doing a much needed detox and exfoliate. Life will continue and start again like it has in the past, the only danger is the reality, we might not all be around come the next round. Economics, poverty and culture, used as tools at maintaining the status quo, is bullshit and we need to realise as voters, whether our leaders are forward thinking enough to consider the world that will be left behind and what we need to sacrifice now, before the price we are asked to pay is more than we can afford.

Hamish

Psychos in human form, fat girls and daddy issues

I havent been able to blog because the one thing that is annoying me, the person I would actually like to throttle and make pee from plain fear, is someone I cant mention here because if the person is found throttled, drenched in their own pee, I will be a suspect.

The one thing very close to me is my family. Some would call it my weakness in an otherwise steely resolve to be the master of my own destiny. But without my family I would be nowhere. I guess everyone feels that way about their families. The one fear I do have is that one day, when we all get married, we’ll become strangers. You see it all the time. Distance develops.

Often spouses dont take into account that before they arrived, their SO had siblings, this is worse where the spouse is an only child and can’t possibly relate to the importance and role of siblings. What I have found is that amongst many women, there are these rules that don’t take into account the nature of the relationship their husbands had before they arrived.

One particular Jabba the Hut turd got upset with my brother, because he was out with my other brother who was visiting for the weekend. Because it was her time and didn’t my brother realise he had more than 20 years with my brother before her. She also called one of my friends gay for visiting and taking up valuable her time. This she said to me over the phone hunting for my brother.

She wasnt in the family and already throwing her weight around. I fucking hate her. I want to buy her a SA Roadlink bus ticket. I think if you’re getting married you need to respect your SO’s family to thee extent or even more than what they respect you. Easier said than done I guess. But in our community, you never just marry the individual, you marry the whole family. And if you push someone enough to have to pick between you and their family, remember these things can only end as they should, in tears and misery.

I am close to my brothers. I remember the fear my mother had when my father died that if anything happened to her while we were kids we would be split up and we would grow up as strangers. We had to stick together. even before then my father always taught us to stick together as brothers, don’t turn your back on your brother, ever, family before yourself. Maybe its a little old fashioned but some people hate their families. I’m not saying we dont have our share of bloody feuds. But we’re family and as much as we might fight with each other we will drop anything and everything for each other.

I wonder if a new member of the family will understand that. My friend Graeme had some worthwhile advice for me. If you want to know what a potential holds in store for you relationship wise, ask her what her relationship with her father is. Which adds a whole new spin on things. The girls I have been serious about are women with very strong fathers. Active fathers, the scowling eyebrow raising type which explains why most of them looked on me with suspicion.

Durban coming up, wear your finest cause I’m bringing the video camera. WOOHOO.

Hamish

Everytime you get angry, the feminists win

Now look here, I don’t give a rats dick about equality. We are not all equal, we are not all equal and we are not all built equal. That’s not speculation, that’s facts. But the feminism movement, the Frankenstein’s monster its become in 2009 is starting to piss me off. Its like the movement is trying to find relevance in society by turning the movement for equal rights by hating the male species.

Maybe as men we just don’t give a fuck about what occupies the minds of the modern woman anymore. Maybe because its a trend and it will soon pass just as soon as Hagen Daz releases a new flavour or Magnum repackages an old one or Lindt … well you get the picture.

Let me say that irrespective of what dangles between your legs, it doesnt determine the quality of person you are. So its no use screaming that women are of great character because of their lack of penis (attached, not received, that’s not my business.) then don’t complain when the no penis rule is applied and its not in your favour. Let me give you an example.

“Women are better than men at looking after kids because they are women.” – Does this mean all women? Explain the mother who slit her wrists after strangling her two daughters with rope?
“Women cannot do it because men are better at it.” Now that particular slogan can be applied to any scenario because there is always a statistical example of how men are better whatever compared to women. Statistics can be manipulated. It doesnt take into account that circumstances can can be exclusionary. But it doesnt mean all men are better at whatever, or that all women are worse, all it does mean is that some individuals, men and women are better at doing X than other men and women.

People are very concerned with roles. What men are supposed to do, how they’re supposed to behave, what women are supposed to do, how women are supposed to behave. Since when did we become so dependent on what other did in order to survive. I find that those people who need definitions on what constitutes a man and what constitutes a woman are usually people who have no idea of what role they as individuals play. So they play according to the well worn script of stereotypes. They do the passive *cough* bullshit *cough* aggressive thing because deep down inside they know, this is all shit. All of it. That stereotypes when it comes to gender are based on broad generalisations that give you no indication of the individual’s talent and unique qualities. Its fucking outdated and old fashioned. I know, shocking. But its certainly not forward thinking.

People who live like this, lack confidence and need the crutch of stereotypes to fall back in when they dont go for the things they want. Frankly I couldnt give a flying fuck at what the douchebags think. Some people need to feel special. All the time. So they’ll do, look for any excuse to feel special, even if its blurting out this pseudo pop feminism bullshit.

if you don’t feel special when you open your eyes in the morning, if you feel that someone faceless is to blame and you buy into pin the tail on the opposite in order to feel special, do us all a favour and kill yourself. Seriously, slice down, not across.

You dont need a penis or a vagina to have some meaning in the world and if that is enough reason for you to find fault, you need to extricate yourself from humanity. Today.

Hamish

Barack Obama pissed on the Nobel Peace prize

Its change we can believe in. Well he didnt say how easy it would be. Following in the footsteps of his Republican predecessors, Barack Obama pissed on the Nobel Peace Prize when he accepted it. if you think of the men and women that came before him, the sacrifices that they made and you compare it to Barack Obama, you think the Norwegians have lost their God damned minds.

The Committee themselves had diluted their own award to the point where we don’t care. Because if a war time President can win a Peace prize, well not any run of the mill peace prize, but the Nobel Peace Prize, then you have to ask yourself what’s wrong with the world. Now everyone who wins the award will be lumped together with him. A man who increased troops in Afghanistan and who looks likely to maintain the US’s occupation of Cuba and Iraq. Where exactly is the change we wanted to believe in?

Speaking of change, The Danes seemed to have painted a huge bull’s eye on their backs. Again. If you can believe reports that the Danes proposed a solution and the Climate Change Conference that would see developing nations and take it unwillingly up the rear. $10 billion a year to developing nations to compensate them for pollution from developed nations. Say what? Why dont they just ship guns with enough ammunition for everyone to shoot their families and themselves. Its cheaper and the developed nations can go back to polluting the atmosphere because their economies will suffer greatly if they are forced to implement environmental protection changes.

And I am sure they said the costs of production would go up when they wanted to abolish slavery and implement equal worker rights.

And the likes of India aren’t helping when they agree that agreements shouldn’t be binding. South Africa is asking for handouts when the Minister in the Presidency said we need to build more coal powered Power Stations. Its like we’ve been induced into depending on our former colonial masters that we can’t sticking our hands out every chance we get and the Europeans in particular cant wait to throw us a big shiney coin. Fuck them.

I see the Bolsheviks riding again.

Hamish

Media, journalism and the reason why tyrants shoot them in the head

Its commonly known than hair product advertisements cause neck injuries.

But this is not about hair adverts that lead to neck braces becoming fashion accessories. Its about the media. Tyrants love executing journalists, writers and poets. And that was because they spoke out against abuse of power. But modern media has become less than the truth. And it isnt always the fault of journalists. When Ted Turner whored out news in the form of CNN, modern media and journalism as whole became a tool.

A tool for marketing. That is my vague, all encompassing label. Because everyone is a martyr and everyone is a terrorist. We are continuously bombarded. And no one dares move from the script. Lawyers and accountants run the world of media.

I was watching the news this afternoon and there was a story about the recent bombing in Iraq. And as the reporter calmly reported on the body parts being pulled from rubble and the family members having to identify bodies, I couldnt help thinking, why didnt we see this coming?

Have enough people repeat something and say it often enough and it becomes the truth. Because what actually happened and what people think happened are two different things. And our media falls right into it. From an outsider’s perspective, you would think the US was crazy for pulling out or talk about it at least, from Iraq. This is what I meant when I said marketing. The media is not just an institution of society that reports and informs. People are behind the news and people have their perspective on things. What is that saying, one man’s terrorist is another’s freedom fighter? The media influences and it is not as unconscious as we think it is. It is deliberate sometimes and proves, the pen is mightier than the sword. Well metaphorically speaking. Stalin used to always try proving that wrong.

To be honest, it is hard to write honestly or objectively. We all try to influence through out expression, whether it is to curry favour with holders of power or the ones short of a coup. The media backs the winning side which is not always the winning side but if crossed could make you part of the losing side. Take for example the SABC under the Mbeki administration which is alleged to have had a blacklist. A list of the names of people who were never to be interviewed or asked for opinion.

Information isnt free. And at the top of the control of information are peddlers interested in bottomline and golf club membership. We are but sheep.

Haroon Wadee asked, what about free will.

I responded – Miley Cyris. Explain that and you’re a brighter person than I am.

Hamish Pillay

Respect

Maybe I was raised on a diet of too many mafia movies. I used to watch all the Italian American movies and it was about respect. Old fashioned respect. Lies and people who use them have no respect. My former boss lied to me about something silly like the overall increases, when I found out some staff received double I was “woedend” (Afrikaans for fiercely angry but it sounds better in Afrikaans.) I resigned the job. Because to be lied to is to be disrespected and call me arrogant but I do not deserve to be disrespected.

I treat people the way I am treated. I try to do things on a grand scale. Never hold back in doing something marvellous for someone because everyone deserves it. Holding back and half measures are for pussies. But fuck with me and you can find the same committment to treating you like crap.

Anyway I just needed to sound out a warning and let off some steam. Sometimes when you’re too nice, some fucking retard thinks its some sort of weakness. Throat chop coming your way.

Hamish Pillay

Nearing the end of 2009

2009 has generally been a crap year. I decided rather late in 2009 to take more of an active role in managing my life. To leave less of it to the good intentions of other people. People are fickle. they have moods. I have moods. One day you are missed and the next day you will ignored. One thing I dont have the time for is standing and waiting for my turn. This is not the post office and you are not a set of stamps.

I met some good people, some people who I thought were good and some people who not worth the keyboard wear and tear. I suppose I got to the stage where I said I couldnt fake it. When you work an 8 – 5 job and your still feel like a massive loser then maybe its time to re-assess.

And I have done that, I have made the plans and now to put them into action. My real problem is my lack of patience. if I don’t get it now then I kick it out. Sometimes it and they come back. Sometimes they dont. I have a surprisingly lack of sentimentality sometimes. But I am looking forward to carving my path through 2010.

Just need to free myself of some connections.

Hamish

New porn and its superstars

Life is coming to resemble a porn movie. Big plastic tits grab our attention long enough to do the 5 knuckle shuffle and then we’re onto the next attraction. Relations are meaningless, a confession of love has no value and meaning. Its all about the payoff, who cums on who and someone is going to have take it up the arse.

I dont mean to gross you out here but that is how flimsy relations are. Or that is how I feel. We want it all so fast, we want it now and we want the pay off before we can truly appreciate it all. Its like a fuck scene in a porn movie. The Guy cleans the pool, the bored housewife calls him in for a nice cool drink inside, she’s wearing nothing but her tiniest frillies and they fuck. Everything on cue, every position displayed and exhibited with the ferocity of a teenager ripping off panties for the first time. We are fleeting in how we deal with people. Someone feels bad for about as long as it takes to get the attention and then they are all good to go. We dont even know what we’re feeling anymore. All we know is that we need to do X by the time it fades to black.

Life is porn movie. No one is really concerned about the next person. We’re all just looking for a hole or a tongue and anyone will do. We have no value, we beat the romance out of life and we fake it by squeezing saline implants while going ooh aah ooh aah spank me baby, give it to me hard.

I can’t fake shit. I hate life’s hard moments when you have to decide something and it mean losing. It gnaws at me for years. But then you look around and you wonder, who the fuck crept into the bodies of humans. Because there is no empathy, or real feelings.

We’re all just stars waiting for the next scene when we use some cheesy line and fuck whoever it is we’re supposed to and hope that we make eye contact.

Hamish

The story of the chicken choker

So my business partner and I met today. The most difficult thing about starting a business according to the literature is keeping it running. 75% of businesses survive a decade and 80% die in their first year. But I have done most of the research. I need to polish this product and business plan. Because the hurdle for us will be to get the finance. And my partner and I feed off each other. We’re not into the whole that’s great but secretly hate the idea. Because we’re serious about changing the way we live.

Then he pointed, remember chicken boy who we found out was a paid for chicken choker, he managed to get funding for his little business. We could also do that if we wanted to. persistence. And so begins the sweaty trek through smiles and figures and questions. I hope the passion lasts.

 

The books goes well and I hope to God it stays like that. Working with multiple things is testing my skills as I embark on the journey of becoming the king of the world.

 

No chickens were harmed in the making of this blog post.

 

Hamish

Talk about the good things

The good things never last. Because we spend too much time focussing on the bad. Talk about the good things, give it life, give it hope, give it legs.

Someone said that to me. But I didnt get it. The good things in life die easily because we keep it in the dark and hidden. And it dies and then we say what the fuck, why does my things die. Anything alive needs space and energy and deserves to fed and exposed. The only things that die from exposure are bad things.

But charous that we are or as Mika/MJ would say, we coolies, are afraid of letting other people know about the good things that happen to us. We don’t tell people because we’re afraid of nazr, and ill wishes and bad luck and other people just bringing bad luck. Bad luck is bad luck. Sometimes shit happens. But fuck people who wish ill. Because if its meant to be, they and all their wishes can go seriously roger themselves. Because as much as God and I are not always on the same page, if you claim to believe, people shouldnt matter in that regard. Or am I being absurd?

Its easy I guess to focus on the negativity and the negative shallow people. I have come across so many negative people. its not worth mentioning actually. Met some fantastic people over the years. Some times you were right about them and sometimes you were wrong. That is a negative and positive statement. You know who you are.

So here is to having an awesome last 31 days of 2009.

Birthday wishlist coming up. And yes, as your future King of everythin, I expect gestures of your love, admiration and support for your King.

You dont want to be that person who said fuck him I’m not getting him anything when I making firing squads a Ministry in the government.

 

;p